Need You

i dint update my blog for quite some days already...
due to emoing and stuffs...

so this is my latest update of myself and start from now i will update my blog every time i log in!!!



I smile to hide the hurt.
I laugh to chase away the tears.
But when u look into my eyes, you will see all my pains hidden there!!!

Sad

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me

And I wake to find that you're not there

The End of Jim Tan

sickness is attacking me from everyside...
first time went into hospital to drip water...
breathing difficulty , backbone pain, heart beat hardly in brain...

if i have the last 1/2/3 months of surviving...
i wont wish to do anything...
i will rather die now den later..
because what i wish to do have no enough time to let me start and finish!!!

i wish for not existed in this world will come true?

Hate you, Fuck you

Actually today is my babe come out of Hospital Perodua...
i call them up to check what time my car is ready...
5.30pm as promised i can collect my babe!!!

230-300pm i tell my dad...
Jim: pa...my car 530pm can go and collect...
Dad: so fast?let me call them up and check...
Jim: mind talking( fast? one month u call that fast?)
10mins later
Dad: lets go check on ur car...
Jim: wohoo!!!

reach there talk to that Insurance guy that handle my car...
Dad:En.Murni kenari anak saya boleh collect?
En.M:dah promise 5.30pm boss
Dad: u see...530 collect and u tell u can collect now? waste my time come here only..
Jim: WTH!!! i told u 530 and u turn the topic saying that i told u collect now?(Tahan)
Dad: anak saya cakap horn tu tak boleh pasang ke?
En.M: tak leh la boss...yang tu bukan standard perodua punya horn...kena hantar luar pasang...
bla bla bla...my dad and him talking all those nonsense...

3 of us go have a look on the car...
Dad: what is this cable about?
Jim: grounding cable la...to stable more earth charges!!!
Dad: what rubbish are u talking to me? u think i stupid? waste the money and put all this nonsense?
Jim: mind talking( FUCK U...what u know about upgrading and give benefits to a car...SHUT UP and kiss ur own fucking ass)

come collect tomorrow la...
i have to pay rm 1400...
this and that this and that....
in my dad's car talk about my car...
bla bla bla...
dulan here dulan there....
FUCK U!!!

my dad say that i have the most accident in the family history...
nah .!. eat this la...
first accident is pesona accident once...(radiator also)
2nd accident is my kenari( bang the stupid construction box)
3rd accident is my kenari( latest accident)

mine is just simple minor accident...
if u want me to dig the whole profile of each car...u will hear till u cant stop what im gonna say to u...
so what ...
i can have my kenari for life...
i dont mind using my kenari as i love her so much...
as i know first time u promise me to buy me a sport bike i also ignore it...
den u promise again to buy me a car if i take care of my car...(dont want to mention about this case)
i have no hope on listening to ur promises u want to make up!!!

since im so stupid and useless to u....
y the hell did u born me out?
y dont u just kill me ?

if i fail this term...
im gonna work for myself to own my own car get my own things that i wish before i die soon!!!
i dont give a dam if u want to stop me...
i rather die den see u all disturbing me...annoy me...scold me...beat me up...
i have had it...
if u know how to use the internet...i will surely post this up to the whole wide world..
i dont give a dam what u want to say...

last but not least....
FUCK U and eat this .!.

Enjoy True Facts!!!

Enjoy every second of your life with happiness because life cycle is like a storm which shows us no mercy and we shall respond in kind.


People think that the most painful thing in life is losing the one u value the most.
But.
Actually the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of valuing someone so much!!!!

I can't erase u from my mind!!!

Existence

am i really living in reality?
i had enough of thinking that im not in this world after few weeks/days/hours/minutes/seconds....
i really wanna fit into the world...
can anyone notice me?
can that particular person bring me in to the real world?

Silent

when a person is silent ,

it doesnt means that the person didnt know about the fun and enjoyment ,

but it means that life has taught him some lessons which has made him silent.

Break Up poems

Poem 1

keep loving the person whom u love, even if they dnt respect ur feelings.
bcoz at the end of the day u'll have the satisfied feeling thats its not ur fault :'(

Poem 2

Sometimes I Just WonderWhy Do I Feel Sad
Whenever I Think Of U?

And I Realised That The Only
Time I'm Smiling Is Whenever
I Believed I Still Love U...

Poem 3

Once in a lifetime someone breaks your heart,
and if you still feel to hold that person with every broken piece,
that amazing pain is called

TRUE LOVE! =)

but my true love always reject me...

how am i gonna maintain this love?

arghh...

till today...i cant find me a suitable person!!!

Guide line pls!!!

His-story

wow...
not a single day i can be happy as i used to be..
every single day...
open up google chrome - facebook(as usual) - check updates- ex friends got plans/gathering- not invited-shut down - sick of remember high school/primary too...

yup...
im now in college life and car club life..
who give a dam on u primary and secondary school peoples..
dont even call me when u all need the same old me..
i will just ignore or reject the request u all ask me to...
not interested in what u all want from me...

who thinks im bad?
i dont think so...cause this is life and life have to be cruel sometimes...
OMG!!!
day by day emo-ing...
when can i stop this nonsense...
im so bored with it...
seriously..
till today no one can calm me down...
no one can put off a blazing fire..
i know no one out there can see what im trying to explain...
cause i dont wnat to show u my words that i have been hiding all this while..
no point of showing u all what i write in my blog...

now my life line is to study in college till the end and enjoy custom/mod my precious smart@idiot...

but still..
i need u...
i want u to be with me...
i dont mind what kind/beauty/size/hight or what so ever...
what i need is love...from the deep heart...

ArgHH!!!!
i cant stand it anymore...
FUCK Y'ALL who used me!!!